Is everyone around you making the walk up the aisle while you’re left holding the confetti? Do you think the time is right for you and your love to become Mr and Mrs? If you’re going to get married make sure it’s for the right reasons. Don’t pressure yourself when you know deep down that you’re not ready to get hitched, and make sure your reasons for getting married don’t hinge on what anyone else is doing.
Take a closer look at yourself and your relationship before committing to tying the knot so you know your time for wedding bells has come!
Do it for the right reasons
Do you want to get married because all your friends have and you feel pressured to make the commitment? Do you feel you’re getting old and don’t want to wait any longer? Is marriage something that’s just another tick off your list of life goals? Sit down and consider why you want to get married. If you need to talk yourself into getting married, or have to convince your fiancé to commit, then the time probably isn’t right. Just because it’s not right now it doesn’t mean you won’t get married in the future. Sometimes it’s all about timing.
You are looking forward to married life
While a wedding is just one day, marriage is a life commitment so don’t get carried away with all the beautiful details. While you might have seen the perfect dress, decided on a theme and chosen your invitations, you might want to look past the details at life beyond ‘I do’. If you can imagine yourself with this person when you’re old and gray and can’t wait for all the adventures ahead of you – then you’re ready for marriage and not just the wedding.
You’re on the same page
When planning a wedding you have a plan for the day, so why not do the same for your marriage! While you don’t need to set out exact goals you need to know you are both agreed on details like children, living arrangements and finances. You need to know you’re on the same page before you make the massive commitment that comes with marriage, and if you don’t tackle them before the wedding you might find yourself arguing over them in the future. Once you’re on the same page and know what you both want and need then you’re much better prepared for marriage.
Take a look at your life
Are you getting everything you need from your relationship? Before you consider marriage it’s important to make sure you know this is right for you and what you want from life. Ask yourself – is the relationship a healthy one, do you get what you need both physically and emotionally, what are your expectations? If you have not communicated these things to each other then you should do it before you consider getting married, then you will have a happier and more fulfilled future.
Listen to your language
When you talk about marriage do you say ‘When we get married’ or ‘If we get married’? If you’re more likely to say ‘if’ then you might not be ready yet. It’s not that you don’t love the man in your life; it’s just that you might not be in the right frame of mind. Perhaps you could never imagine yourself in a white dress growing up and never dreamt of walking up the aisle. If that worries you then you could always try on a wedding dress and see how you feel – sometimes it’s just hard to imagine yourself as the blushing bride.
You have unresolved issues
If you find that you and your husband-to-be are always arguing about the same old things then you should try and get them resolved before you make a life commitment. Before you get married you should be able to deal with any issues without it turning into a screaming match. Marriage isn’t a way to solve any issues in your relationship; they will remain long after you have lost your last name. Things ain’t gonna get better just because he put a ring on it!
You do boring things together
Bills, laundry, feeding the cat –life is full of boring little tasks that have to be done. But married life is all about sharing, so if you can share out the mundane tasks or do them together then you’re all set for married life. After all, marriage is a partnership and nobody wants to come off worse in the deal. If he’s happy to do the dusting while you pay the phone bill then things are looking rosy for your marriage.
You feel happy and complete
Ask yourself, do you feel happy together? Are you all Jerry Maguire and complete each other? If the answer is ‘Yes’ then you are definitely ready for marriage! If you feel like something is missing then you might not be ready. That feeling won’t go away with time, and could actually get worse, so don’t ignore it!
Do what’s right for you
If you have been coasting and haven’t really examined your relationship then this might be a good time to do it. Some couples get married because it’s the natural next step in their relationship, but you might not actually want to change things. There’s nothing wrong with staying engaged for the rest of your lives, you have to do what is best for you. If you want to take the next step and are excited about the future then go ahead – do it!
You know you’re ready to get married
It’s simple – you know deep down that you’re ready for this next step in your life and you can’t wait! The opposite is also true – if you know you’re not ready then don’t force yourself into doing something that you don’t want to do. Whatever pressures there are on you – whether they’re to get married or not – you have to stay true to yourself and follow your heart.